Pointen Oktober 2009

“Here is some very good news. At NASA, the countdown is on. After years of wasting taxpayer money on research to increase the quality of life here on Earth and all that rubbish, NASA is finally doing something cool. They’re blowing up the moon!” – Craig Ferguson

“So they’re going to attack the moon, and they’re going to be looking for water. And I thought, well, that’s pretty much sounds like our government — bomb first, look for evidence later. That’s the way we do business.” – David Letterman

“Nobel Prizes in science were awarded yesterday, and the three winners in physics are known as the ‘masters of light.’ Not to be confused with Dick Cheney, known as the ‘prince of darkness.’” – David Letterman

“Obama said he will attend the ceremony in Oslo if he’s not too busy with the two wars he’s conducting.” – Bill Maher

“And according to USA Today, car thefts are now at a 20-year low. Well, sure, it’s hard to steal a car when the owner’s living in it.” – Jay Leno

“One of the top selling costumes this Halloween is a vampire version of President Obama called ‘Barackula.’ Also very popular is the vampire version of former Vice President Dick Cheney, called ‘Dick Cheney.’” – Conan O’Brien

“Former President George W. Bush made his debut as a motivational speaker. Afterwards, Bush said, ‘The crowd was so motivated, many of them left halfway through.’” – Conan O’Brien

“In a speech in Canada, former President George W. Bush said he was proud that when he was in office he didn’t sell his soul, which is true. He rented it to Dick Cheney, who then sublet it to Halliburton, but it’s totally different.” – Jay Leno

“It’s getting nasty. Cheney said that when it comes to Afghanistan, Obama seems to be ‘afraid.’ Afraid? Isn’t Cheney the one that was hiding in the underground bunker?” – Jay Leno

“Well, according to CBS News, President Obama has played more golf in nine months than George Bush in nearly three years. Actually, Obama’s a good golfer. You know what his handicap is? Joe Biden.” – Jay Leno

“Some people are already criticizing the Obama’s decision to cut the pay of the executives at companies that received bailout money. They say this could cause a lot of these guys to quit. Because you wouldn’t want to lose the geniuses who lost us hundreds of billions of dollars.” – Jay Leno

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.