Late Night Pointen Februar 2009
David Letterman: The Obamas…taking a vacation on Martha’s Vineyard. When something like that happens, it’s like a big deal for the community. And people on Martha’s Vineyard…are going crazy and they’re buying Obama t-shirts, they’re buying Obama mugs, they’re buying Obama caps. The only thing they’re not buying is Obama’s healthcare plan.
David Letterman: But…on Martha’s Vineyard, they’re serving a new drink inspired by Obama – it’s an Obamarita. After three Obamaritas, a $9 trillion deficit doesn’t look so bad.
Conan O’Brien: The latest rumor is that President Obama is going to have dinner on Martha’s Vineyard with Oprah Winfrey. … That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. The most powerful person in the free world is going to have dinner with President Obama.
Bill Maher: So they’re going to have a run off election in Afghanistan. That’s when the Taliban shows up and everyone runs off.
Bill Maher: That is what American democracy has come down to at town halls: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible combination. Somebody yelled AK-47, and an old lady yelled bingo.
Dave Letterman: 90% of all paper money in this country has traces of cocaine. Talk about your stimulus money.
Conan O’Brien: President Obama was in Montana today. That’s right. He met with residents, he held a town meeting and then he went fly-fishing. It’s true. Montana residents came from miles around for the once in a lifetime chance to see a black guy fly-fishing.
Bill Maher: And who put this idea in their heads? Sarah Palin, who has settled in to her job very well, an unemployed right-wing blogger. Apparently Sarah Palin quit her job as Governor of Alaska to spend more time on Facebook. I’m serious. She’s on Facebook every day now. Because this is the proper forum to confront the President of the United States on the most important issue of our day, a social networking site for teenagers.
Stephen Colbert: I am ecstatic. We are close to defeating President Obama’s evil plan to keep people healthy. The president is so desperate that he resorted to publishing an op-ed called ‘Why We Need Health Care Reform’ in yesterday’s New York Times. Textbook sign of surrender. … Of course the president blamed our problems on the health insurance industry, but where is the balance? Why won’t the Times print the insurance companies editorials, like this one I got today. Dear Mr. Colbert, we regret to inform you that we cannot cover your hip surgery due to your pre-existing wrist injury.
Conan O’Brien: Tomorrow, President Obama is taking his family to Yellowstone Park, to see Old Faithful. … Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton returns from overseas to see Old Unfaithful.
Jimmy Fallon: “ohn Edwards…finally admitted that he’s the father of his mistress’ baby after denying it for over a year. So, it’s a pretty classic case of whoever denied it, supplied it.