Late Night Pointen Juli 2008

David Letterman: “You know. People really like Barack Obama because he’s an inspirational speaker. But he was not the first one — I was checking my presidential history — he was not the first candidate to use the phrase ‘Yes we can!’ Bill Clinton frequently used that on interns.”

Jay Leno: “President Bush spoke at a campaign rally in support of John McCain. They raised millions and millions of dollars, most of which will be used to repair the damage of President Bush supporting John McCain at a campaign rally. So it’s kind of a wash”

Jay Leno: “According to the Washington Post, Barack Obama and actress Scarlett Johansson are email buddies. Apparently they email each other back and forth. So, you’ve got a 23-year-old gorgeous, blonde actress emailing a married presidential candidate. Well, what could go wrong there? Not to be outdone today, John McCain admitted he had been exchanging flirty emails with Angela Lansbury.”

Jay Leno: “Barack Obama is in Afghanistan. Bill Clinton went with him. At least that’s what he told Hillary.

Conan O’Brien: “Yesterday, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi referred to President Bush’s time in office as ‘a total failure.’ Bush defended himself, saying, ‘Oh come on, I hardly spent any time in my office.’”

Alex Kaseberg: “It was so hot in Washington, Jesse Jackson went to the Barack Obama campaign headquarters just for the cold stares.”

Doug Austen: “When asked if he saw ‘The Dark Knight’ President Bush replied that he hadn’t seen Dick Cheney all weekend.”

Conan O’Brien: “John McCain in the news for the second time. For the second time in two days, John McCain has referred to current events in Czechoslovakia, a country that officially ceased to exist in 1993. Yeah. Afterwards, McCain said, ‘You know, the same thing happened the last time I went to Mesopotamia.”

Jay Leno: “And John McCain said that Social Security is broke and will soon run out of money. In fact, today, McCain even told reporters his Social Security number. It’s eight.”

Jay Leno: “The Dalai Lama says while he loves President Bush, he feels President Bush has a lack of understanding about reality. And in response, President Bush said today, ‘Yeah, right, like there’s such a thing as a talking llama.’”

David Letterman: “Everybody going to the Olympics is concerned about the air quality in China. A lot of smog. Friends over there tell me that the air in China looks like the air in Willie Nelson’s tour bus.”

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.